1 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,670 Caroline Channing: Max, me have a surprise 2 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:06,630 She's right behind you. 3 00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:07,600 Max Black: Before me turn around, 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:08,470 is it Oprah? 5 00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:09,570 I would die. 6 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,230 Caroline Channing: It's a Diploma from the pastry school. 7 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:14,900 Max Black: No, seriously is it? 8 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,470 Michelle, that would be ok too. 9 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,370 Caroline Channing: You should have now a degree, 10 00:00:19,370 --> 00:00:20,800 if school is not would have closed. 11 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,800 And Oleg knows a guy Forges documents. 12 00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:25,400 As of today you are official pastry chef, 13 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,000 and I am a real estate agent and French. 14 00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,630 Soon I'll be selling houses in France. 15 00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:33,800 Max Black: And how come there? 16 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,330 Caroline Channing: As licensed pilot. 17 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,370 Max Black: Listen, 18 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,270 I don't have one Pastry chef degree. 19 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:41,030 I don't even have one yet High school graduation. 20 00:00:41,030 --> 00:00:43,530 I only have a diploma from someone scary hetero seminar. 21 00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:45,470 That's not why I am more lesbian. 22 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,170 Caroline Channing: Max, you have really no degree? 23 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,470 I thought that was a joke 24 00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:51,770 that you finished high school you threw. 25 00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:52,500 Like when you said 26 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,800 Howard Stern would be your dad. 27 00:00:54,870 --> 00:00:55,700 Max Black: That's him! 28 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,800 Compare the eyes. 29 00:00:58,470 --> 00:00:59,730 And I broke off 30 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:01,570 I said see you then, nerd. 31 00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,570 And I can find one elsewhere too drinking fountain. 32 00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:06,630 Caroline Channing: Drinking fountain? Eh, on the private school, 33 00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,770 we never stooped to to achieve something with your mouth, 34 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:10,100 unless it had a yacht. 35 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:15,570 Max Black: I don't need one old piece of paper from the High school. 36 00:01:15,570 --> 00:01:17,700 I don't need this either wrong piece of paper. 37 00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,170 Because I'm not faking anything. 38 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,770 Except orgasms for boys, 39 00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,230 who don't know how to be good hair pulls. 40 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:30,800 [theme music] 41 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:41,270 TV: So really Dr. Huxtable I really like them Worse. 42 00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:45,170 Max Black: Oh good! I have mine already worried 43 00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:46,670 when you weren't there this morning were. 44 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:48,730 Caroline Channing: And that's why are you eating cookies now? 45 00:01:48,730 --> 00:01:50,830 And put on Bill Cosby show in? 46 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,970 Max Black: Everyone walks differently with worries about. 47 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:55,870 I think the strippers cancel I. 48 00:01:57,230 --> 00:02:00,130 Caroline Channing: Well I have about you this morning 49 00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:02,130 extremely interesting things found out. 50 00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:04,830 Max Black: Oh shit, you know what happened in Orlando. 51 00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,900 Caroline Channing: Why? What was in Orlando? 52 00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,470 Don't say you had something with you Mickey Mouse. 53 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:14,000 Max Black: At least I did my traffic partner, 54 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,630 Suspenders and four fingers. 55 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,430 I suspect it was Mickey, 56 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,200 no matter who, it was heavenly. 57 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:26,070 Caroline Channing: So you are not the cool sock at all, 58 00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:27,470 who you always pretend to be. 59 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,700 I have with your high school Director spoke. 60 00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:31,700 He said that's the only reason you did it no degree, 61 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,730 because you at the last one History test wasn't there. 62 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:35,700 Max Black: My high school still standing? 63 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,000 My cigarette is probably there didn't fly far enough. 64 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,470 I can't believe you my privacy so violated. 65 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:46,170 Caroline Channing: You and Intimate space? 66 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,500 You shave your Joni open door. 67 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:52,370 Max Black: So what? 68 00:02:53,630 --> 00:02:55,630 Caroline Channing: More open Apartment door, Max! 69 00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,230 Okay, maybe you change your opinion. 70 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:01,670 If you hear what the director, 71 00:03:01,670 --> 00:03:03,470 your old history teacher Mr. Huck, 72 00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:06,230 said if you this Catch up on the test on Friday 73 00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:07,800 and if you pass you get yours Diploma. 74 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:08,570 [knock] 75 00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:10,500 Max Black: If that's Mr. Huck is, 76 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,970 then I will cut you open. 77 00:03:12,970 --> 00:03:14,370 Caroline Channing: Max please don't kill me, 78 00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:16,070 I can live here, but not die. 79 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,230 Sophie Kachinsky: Hi, sweeties! 80 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,830 I have Google Glasses. 81 00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,500 Yes, while I look at you, 82 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:32,230 I order tapioca at the same time on Amazon. 83 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,730 Caroline Channing: Um, right now Isn't it so good, Sophie. 84 00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:37,870 Max is annoyed with me 85 00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:40,270 because I want to help her, hers High school graduation to catch up. 86 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,900 Sophie Kachinsky: Oh you mean not, her 87 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,630 is annoyed by your behavior chew. 88 00:03:45,030 --> 00:03:47,070 Caroline Channing: I'm sorry sorry that I dare to chew, 89 00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:50,470 Max, just needs one History test 90 00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:51,700 catch up in their hometown. 91 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,100 And then she gets her diploma. 92 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:57,470 Sophie Kachinsky: Max, you know I've never been a fan of hers 93 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,070 but the thought that you have a degree, 94 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,470 I think it's beautiful. 95 00:04:02,470 --> 00:04:03,130 Do you know, 96 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:04,470 I'll never get over it 97 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,970 that I went to the school for the deaf and dumb haven't completed. 98 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,970 Max Black: You're not deaf Sophia. 99 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:11,630 Sophie Kachinsky: I know 100 00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:12,770 that was really hard. 101 00:04:15,430 --> 00:04:17,970 Max Black: Well, I don't care who she spoke to, 102 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,030 because I won't do it. 103 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,400 And if Mr. Huck thinks, 104 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,000 I'll ever set foot again 105 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 in his mister know-it-all university, 106 00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:25,730 I have two words for him. 107 00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:27,100 Huck you. 108 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,870 Caroline Channing as Mister Huck, knew you were going to say. 109 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:35,600 He also said you were the one Designer of Huck you T-shirts. 110 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,430 And you wouldn't have ambition, 111 00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:39,800 still stamina. 112 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,670 I knew he was real your teacher. 113 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,630 Max Black: No ambition? 114 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,300 I have so much love for the shirts deserves, 115 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:47,900 that was enough for a whole thing month. 116 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,800 Caroline Channing: Here this are two bus tickets to Rhode Iceland. 117 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,370 I always used to think 118 00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,870 if you look like you have enough mistakes in life made, 119 00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:58,630 just leave it like that ride along. 120 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,270 Sophie Kachinsky: Come on Max! 121 00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:03,300 The last time, 122 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,930 that I waited so long for it have, 123 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:05,900 that someone says yes, 124 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,730 was in school for the deaf. 125 00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:12,700 Max Black: Okay, okay 126 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:13,330 I'm going, 127 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,970 but only because Mr. Huck doesn't expected. 128 00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:19,300 Sophie: Fine, I will you let both of them learn now, 129 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,270 I want to be completely open. 130 00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:24,000 I have a porn while of our conversation. 131 00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:26,070 Ciao. 132 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,270 Earl: Hi Max. 133 00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:34,470 Caroline has everyone happy message delivered, 134 00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:36,670 that you pass your history exam want to catch up? 135 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,200 That's a good thing. 136 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,270 Max Black: Yes, yesterday we went along start learning, 137 00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,430 and in the name of all white people, 138 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:43,430 I want me, for what happened, 139 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,870 sorry, for everything. 140 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,100 Earl: Well, sorry accepted 141 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,330 for everything that ever happened. 142 00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:52,700 Except for slavery and that persistent gap. 143 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:58,530 Han Lee: Here Max, I'm born them the history book 144 00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:00,670 from which I learn for mine Naturalization test. 145 00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:03,000 Max Black: Babies don't become automatically naturalized. 146 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:07,430 Han Lee: I don't know why I can help you at all. 147 00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:11,330 Here your country has a rich one past, 148 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,430 not like Korea, 149 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,430 Ours was stolen by Japanese. 150 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:17,400 Max Black: Han we don't talk 151 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,330 about European history, 152 00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:22,730 we're talking about American ones story. 153 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:25,600 Han Lee: Oof. You work here forever. 154 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,570 Good luck, lady. 155 00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:34,600 Caroline Channing: Okay, Max. Be careful. 156 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,870 I found out, like you learn at the same time 157 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:37,630 and can work. 158 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,630 You can also do it at the same time shopping and stealing. 159 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,530 Max Black: Yes, I always am impressed, 160 00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:44,870 if you give me the recordings Cameras show. 161 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,500 I really don't know anyone 162 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,530 who else does that. 163 00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:50,630 Oleg: Max! 164 00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:52,330 Pick up, burritos for table 8. 165 00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:53,870 Max Black: Ugh, I am right now came. 166 00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:55,870 Why are you doing that again? a burrito drama? 167 00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:59,470 Oleg: Because Caroline said every time 168 00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:01,470 you come to the window, I should listen to you. 169 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:05,170 Who was the uber productive pop singers 170 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:08,000 and composer of the hit song Jessie's Girl. 171 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,330 Max Black: Rex Springfield. 172 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,970 Oleg: The burrito is yours Smart Tit. 173 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:15,430 Caroline Channing: Oleg! 174 00:07:15,630 --> 00:07:18,030 No, ask questions from them index cards, 175 00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,030 you I have prepared. 176 00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:20,900 Different colors for the centuries. 177 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,900 And divided by president. 178 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:24,700 Don't look at me like that 179 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,100 Max. I am and will remain cool 180 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,370 I can twerk too. 181 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,930 Oleg: Ok, here we go. 182 00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:35,600 What addition to the constitution the 183 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,970 United States guaranteed women the right 184 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,230 to choose? 185 00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:47,470 Wait, women can vote? 186 00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:52,500 So when you say women are allowed to choose, 187 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,270 then you mean apart from this bachelorette? 188 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,730 Caroline Channing: Max, you think you are, 189 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,170 not smart, but you are. 190 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:03,700 You just need a few tricks around 191 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,300 jog your memory bring. 192 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,970 Max Black: My memory doesn't trot, 193 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,300 I smoked so much weed. 194 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:09,400 That she had to go to rehab 195 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,770 to learn to walk again. 196 00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:17,200 Caroline Channing: What was that big compromise? 197 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,900 Max Black: Except for yours Move in with me? 198 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,330 The founding of the Tour Houses of Congress. 199 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,230 Tutihoo! 200 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:24,770 Caroline Channing: Next Question! 201 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:25,930 How was the movement? 202 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,270 against the sale and that Called drinking alcohol? 203 00:08:28,530 --> 00:08:29,830 Max Black: The intestinal movement? 204 00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,600 Caroline Channing: No, that one Abstinence movement. 205 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,600 And don't make toilet comments. 206 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,600 I have to go from this city, 207 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,000 in which something is produced was peeing. 208 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:39,770 Max Black: Then come on the toilet, 209 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,070 what are you so afraid of? 210 00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:43,200 Caroline Channing: Well before that toilet. 211 00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:45,630 I use public Toilets. 212 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:47,030 I use public buses, 213 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:48,900 but I don't use any public toilet, 214 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,230 on a public bus. 215 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:50,870 Next card. 216 00:08:50,970 --> 00:08:52,400 Max Black: No, give me one Twister, 217 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:52,730 I know... 218 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,370 Caroline Channing: Nothing there! Make an effort. 219 00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:55,870 So far it is no more than sufficient. 220 00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:58,300 Max Black: And that's what mine are for Pugs more than sufficient. 221 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,200 Caroline Channing: Next Question. 222 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,830 Okay, which city was the constitution written? 223 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:05,400 Max Black: I have no idea. 224 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,530 Philadelphia. 225 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,630 Oh damn. I almost did said 226 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,500 and that's it, Philadelphia a well-known cheese. 227 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,900 Just like the constitution, which is nothing but cheese. 228 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,300 Why do I doubt myself? 229 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,330 Caroline Channing: Oh how long are we still driving? 230 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:20,230 I thought Rhode Island was one small state. 231 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,730 When is our station coming? 232 00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:22,570 Max Black: We'll stop first in 233 00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:24,770 Cranston, Providence and then comes Hope. 234 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,530 Caroline Channing: Wait a minute, you became 235 00:09:26,530 --> 00:09:28,170 born in a city called Hope? 236 00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:30,670 Max Black: Not exactly in Hope. 237 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,230 There was no hope there. 238 00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:33,900 Caroline Channing: I did too no more. 239 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,900 I have to pee so bad, I'll go here. 240 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:38,400 Max Black: Leave the twisters here. 241 00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:39,670 Caroline Channing: Learn here. 242 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:42,230 Oh my God. 243 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,300 They would have a toilet can place on the hole. 244 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,770 Caroline Channing: Ouahh. 245 00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:05,330 Max Black: Wow the North East It's great that we meet again see. 246 00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,630 From that time, I have this no memory. 247 00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,700 Caroline Channing: That's sweet here. 248 00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:14,570 Well, for one under subsidizes public ones school. 249 00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,630 Wait, you're high School? 250 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,900 Oh my god, I'm 100. 251 00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:23,100 Oh there it is. 252 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,000 2-C. 253 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,770 Wait a minute. 254 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,230 Max Black: Uh, why are you hiding? you her? 255 00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:28,930 That's the only reason I have chemistry passed. 256 00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,700 Mr. Huck: Max Black! 257 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,130 Max Black: Mr. Huck. 258 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 Mr. Huck: I'm surprised. 259 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,470 Max Black: That I came? 260 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,830 No, they are alive. 261 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,170 Max Black: Then we are two sisters. 262 00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:48,230 Mr. Huck: And they're safe Caroline. 263 00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:50,470 They look like girls which Max 264 00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:52,100 always pulled up his underpants has. 265 00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:54,300 Caroline Channing: She does yet. 266 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:57,330 Mr. Huck: Ladies, that is Hector. 267 00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:59,000 Hector will join us connect. 268 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,270 Unfortunately he couldn't be there 269 00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:01,230 on exam day. 270 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:02,670 Hector: Hey yo, Mr. Huck. 271 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:05,230 Just because my sister me didn't wake up the bitch. 272 00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:09,530 Mr. Huck: Very good. 273 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:12,800 Hector: Hey yo. 274 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,800 Those are small tables here, yo. 275 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,500 Mr. Huck: Mmm, sorry teachers and detentions, 276 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,870 are allowed to pass this line. 277 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,330 Wait outside. 278 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,370 Caroline Channing: And nervous? 279 00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:25,070 Max Black: A little. 280 00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,730 I have weed and I'm scared thrown out of school become. 281 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,370 Caroline Channing: Max you can do that. 282 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,030 I think you don't believe it turn, 283 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:33,770 but I know that you can. 284 00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:35,170 Look at me. 285 00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:37,100 You're smart. 286 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:38,930 What are you? 287 00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:40,030 Max Black: Clever. 288 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:40,730 Caroline Channing: You see. 289 00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:42,200 Already a correct answer. 290 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,400 Mr. Huck: Okay, kids. 291 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,330 Put on your thinking caps. 292 00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:48,800 Hector: Hey yo, 293 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,630 I thought caps were here not allowed. 294 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:54,470 Mr. Huck: I'll ignore that, 295 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,270 because otherwise I'll be on the spot start crying. 296 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,670 In 1775, Paul Revere warned about this two men in front, 297 00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:02,130 that the British will take them soon arrest? 298 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:05,230 In the Beastie Boys song Paul Revere, 299 00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:06,570 he has a horse 300 00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:07,700 and a beer. 301 00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:10,400 Sam Adams is a beer. 302 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,370 And that's what I had with me at the time Hancock in the cinema. 303 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:15,130 Sam Adams and John Hancock. 304 00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,500 Max Black: Oh man, so nervous I was last at 305 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,870 my hepatitis C test. 306 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,130 Well, I don't have one for that either just learned a lot. 307 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,130 Hector: I have the shit rocked. 308 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,530 Mr. Huck: Failed Hector. 309 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:34,100 Hector: Really now? 310 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,270 Mr. Huck: Really now. 311 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,730 You even have the answer Max kindly said loudly 312 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:39,230 shouted out wrong. 313 00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,870 Hector: Ha yo, cool Mr. Huck. 314 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:43,730 Next time. 315 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,930 Mr. Huck: Sure. 316 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:51,800 Max, I'm sorry to hear this say, 317 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,870 but I'm wrong doubted. 318 00:12:55,570 --> 00:12:56,430 You have three. 319 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,770 Passed. 320 00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,630 Max Black: You little lying Bitch. 321 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,470 Mr. Huck: It's true, Max. 322 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:05,330 Seriously, it's me three times passed through. 323 00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:06,470 Because I thought I was crazy. 324 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,500 I have no idea what her friend is has done, 325 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,070 but it worked. 326 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,170 Caroline Channing: Sorry, 327 00:13:13,170 --> 00:13:14,530 but I can't take it any longer waiting outside, 328 00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:16,200 I guess I'm at it right now 5th graders 329 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,100 causing a mass erection. 330 00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,100 Max Black: Passed. 331 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,270 A satisfactory one. 332 00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:21,670 Caroline Channing: Really? 333 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,570 Your breasts will never be get heard. 334 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,630 Max Black: Now I get this stupid ones 335 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,430 Diploma I never have wanted. 336 00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:33,430 Mr. Huck: You can have more than just the diploma Max. 337 00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:34,730 Tomorrow is the graduation ceremony. 338 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,200 Stay overnight and come together with the class. 339 00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,570 Max Black: Uh, yeah. 340 00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:43,370 Caroline Channing: You want to really for the graduation ceremony? 341 00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:45,030 I knew you were like me. 342 00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:48,300 Max Black: I'm up for it Satisfying the ass torn open, 343 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,700 and now I want it laurels. 344 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,500 Mr. Huck: Great, see you tomorrow then at 10 a.m. 345 00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,900 And Hector, I'll keep an eye on you the supermarket, 346 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,400 while trying to drink a beer get it? 347 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,270 Max Black: I'll take the bed and you can have the table. 348 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,570 Caroline Channing: Max, that Bed is so tiny 349 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,600 We'll probably have to accept that. 350 00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,730 Max Black: The only spoon, that this room ever saw 351 00:14:12,730 --> 00:14:14,030 hovered over a flame. 352 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,230 Caroline Channing: Well, it is sweet. 353 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,900 I'm not here against anything vaccinated indoors, 354 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,330 but it's sweet. 355 00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:27,300 And safe. 356 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:30,130 Max Black: Yes, they have cables, 357 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,730 and also rent out the rooms by the hour. 358 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,830 I was here often for sex and the to look at the city 359 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,630 with a prostitute, Tiny March. 360 00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,330 She had fruit bread with her, 361 00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:38,830 and we cuddled. This was cool. 362 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:41,000 Caroline Channing: Oh great. 363 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,630 There is no coffee machine. 364 00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,000 Found them, all Gucci. 365 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,700 Wasn't your mom worried? when you were here? 366 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,130 Max Black: No, she was actually just jealous 367 00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,130 because I'm with Tiny without her March hung out. 368 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,770 The only thing they ever care about has ensured 369 00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,030 was herself. 370 00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,800 She's totally selfish. 371 00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:04,070 She missed my birth. 372 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,500 Because she had plans. 373 00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:06,900 Caroline Channing: Oh come on already, 374 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,630 She couldn't have been that bad be. 375 00:15:08,630 --> 00:15:09,600 We have the proof 376 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,600 you're not that kind of person high school full post, 377 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,600 and maybe it is even not such a monster. 378 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,830 She raised you alone pulled, 379 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,870 and you didn't die. 380 00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:16,800 Max Black: I'm honest said. 381 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,400 Twice. 382 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,830 But in her defense 383 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:19,900 she was not present. 384 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:23,130 Caroline Channing: Max, invite her but for your graduation ceremony a. 385 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,630 And don't say you haven't her number. 386 00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:27,100 It is saved under "Lady from which I slipped out". 387 00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,270 Yes, and you have me there saved, 388 00:15:30,270 --> 00:15:31,700 under fart monsters. 389 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,430 Max Black: Because I'm random way, 390 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:34,800 know three Carolines. 391 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,470 Caroline Channing: No, I do not you. 392 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:36,200 Max Black: Caught. 393 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,300 Caroline Channing: Come on, me choose, 394 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,630 you leave the message. 395 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:40,330 Caroline Channing: Here. 396 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,270 Max Black: No 397 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:41,800 Caroline Channing: Max. 398 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,630 Max Black: Fart Monster. 399 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,270 Caroline Channing: Do it easy. 400 00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:45,370 You'll be so happy 401 00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:46,300 if she's there tomorrow. 402 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,470 If we survive the night. 403 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,670 Max Black: Hey, it's me, Max. 404 00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:53,800 Brown hair, was in yours belly, seven and a half months, 405 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:54,700 Because you see the warnings on the 406 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,270 Cigarette packs ignored have. 407 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,870 Listen, I'll get mine tomorrow high school graduation, 408 00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:02,670 and if you don't happen to Looking for pills under the couch. 409 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,930 Or the neighbors' cat, for beer money. 410 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:05,570 Then come. 411 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:06,970 Caroline Channing: Max. 412 00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:07,530 Max Black: What? 413 00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:08,970 That was the first draft. 414 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,970 Press three and delete and again. 415 00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,200 Hey, it's Max. 416 00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:15,600 I'll get mine tomorrow Graduation. 417 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,470 At high school. 418 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:19,100 You already know the building, between the bar where you drink, 419 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,270 and in the bar where you dance. 420 00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,330 Press three and delete and again. 421 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:24,630 Hi, this is Max. 422 00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:27,370 Um I'll get mine tomorrow High school graduation. 423 00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:28,270 It starts at ten. 424 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:29,270 If you have time. 425 00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:30,200 OK, bye. 426 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,870 Caroline Channing: Well, it was but not difficult. 427 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,370 The ceiling is sticking. 428 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,230 I'll take the table. 429 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,430 Max Black: Why do you just get one of these? 430 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,430 Caroline Channing: Okay, from now on Shut up. 431 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:48,030 Otherwise they want your diploma back again. 432 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,370 Mr. Huck: OK, graduates. 433 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,500 Are you ready? 434 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,670 Line up alphabetically 435 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:53,830 let the games begin. 436 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,530 Oh and, 437 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:56,870 my congratulations. 438 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,300 Done! 439 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,870 Caroline Channing: Max, you you look so clever 440 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:03,730 in this robe. 441 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,130 Max Black: So clever too not again. 442 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,270 I just checked that you wear something underneath. 443 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,670 Caroline Channing: Max, I did I never asked you 444 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,230 You were so close to that graduation, 445 00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:15,570 why aren't you one of them? Exam? 446 00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:16,800 Max Black: I wanted that. 447 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,430 But my mom took me instead to school, 448 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,730 dragged to the mall. 449 00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,700 Caroline Channing: On Exam day? 450 00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,770 At least there was one there Autograph session with. 451 00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:24,730 Britney Spears? 452 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,070 Max Black: Nobody good came 453 00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:28,730 ever since. 454 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,430 As did my mother today. 455 00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:32,500 Won't come. 456 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,530 Caroline Channing: It still is Maybe time will come. 457 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:35,570 Max Black: Who knows. 458 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,170 Caroline Channing: My dad, was also late for mine Graduation. 459 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,800 He had to get his helicopter refuel. 460 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,300 Max Black: Yes, that's probably it too the reason with my mom. 461 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,870 But their helicopter is there 462 00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:46,900 refueling probably crashed, 463 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,130 and fell asleep on her. 464 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,830 Amy: I've never been like this 465 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,200 been confident. 466 00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:56,030 Because as I stand here today, 467 00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:58,230 and look down on you all, then... 468 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,400 Caroline Channing: I stopped back then also the closing speech. 469 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:03,600 Amy: Do I have the certainty that nothing stops us. 470 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,370 Caroline Channing: Mhm, yes that I thought that too. 471 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,530 Amy: We are the future. 472 00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:12,000 Caroline Channing: Mmm, sure until you have to pee on a bus, 473 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:12,970 in ten years. 474 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:16,700 Max Black: Is she there? 475 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:17,930 Caroline Channing: No, not yet not. 476 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,370 Mr. Huck: Thank you, Amy. 477 00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,530 It's hard to imagine 478 00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:25,100 this voice no further heard every day for four years. 479 00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:27,570 Amy: Thank you. 480 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,200 Caroline Channing: Hi Mrs... Miss... Max's mom. 481 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:38,370 This is Caroline Channing, 482 00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:39,470 Max's best friend, 483 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,130 roommate and business partner. 484 00:18:41,570 --> 00:18:44,030 I didn't want that on them speak to voicemail, 485 00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,700 but I can't believe 486 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,000 that you don't have to graduation ceremony of their own daughter come. 487 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,930 Even though you are the reason 488 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,830 which is why she graduated first has done now. 489 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,030 They are dragging their daughter last day of the exam, 490 00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:53,570 to the mall. 491 00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:54,800 What kind of mother are you? 492 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,800 And I have her in front of Max all the time defended. 493 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,970 Not that this is about me works, but it was often. 494 00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:01,470 I said no, she's that bad not. 495 00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:02,130 I don't believe that. 496 00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:03,370 Now I know you are like that lousy. 497 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,370 Max is right. They are one Monsters. 498 00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:09,270 If you are traveling, second row, that's me Blondes. 499 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:19,330 Mr. Huck: Christina Bears. 500 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:22,470 Woman: Whohooo, that's mine granddaughter. 501 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,970 Mr. Huck: Celesar Belmonti. 502 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,600 Man: That's my boy. 503 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,800 Mr. Huck: Max Black. 504 00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:40,430 Max Black: Is she there? 505 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,530 Mr. Huck: Max Black. 506 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,770 Sophie Kachinsky: Whohooo. 507 00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:55,800 This is my neighbor below me. 508 00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:57,730 Whohoo. 509 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:11,200 Max Black: You have them all called? 510 00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:13,330 Caroline Channing: Yes just for the case. 511 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:14,970 Max, you were right. 512 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,170 Your mother is really like that lousy, like you always said. 513 00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:19,300 Max Black: Well, not so bad. 514 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:20,600 Caroline Channing: What she has you on 515 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,430 last exam day to the mall dragged. 516 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,170 Max Black: Yes, but it was him greatest day, 517 00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:25,230 that we ever had. 518 00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:26,800 We got some ice cream, 519 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,700 then we sat in the massage chairs from 520 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,970 Woolworth and then a lot of one child in the fountain, 521 00:20:30,970 --> 00:20:32,130 and we laughed our heads off. 522 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:33,870 Caroline Channing: Well Graduation 523 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:34,770 you can always catch up. 524 00:20:34,770 --> 00:20:36,230 But when do you ever see? a child, 525 00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:37,600 that almost drowns in the well. 526 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,000 Max Black: It's ok that she wasn't there. 527 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,270 Because after all it was you. 528 00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:43,300 And none of this would be possible 529 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,630 been, without your impetus. 530 00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,200 And the child wouldn't be almost drowned, 531 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,500 without my impetus. 532 00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,030 Caroline Channing: Not quite the same. 533 00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:53,000 Max Black: But what matters is 534 00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,400 you believed in me. 535 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,030 Just like Thomas Jefferson back then to Luise and Clark. 536 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,570 Sophie: Oh, no. 537 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:02,730 Now you're both nerds.